Fear And Loathing...And Hope

I’ve been negligent in tending to this blog, as my most recent entry is nearly three weeks old. I could claim that I haven’t come up with a worthy enough topic, but that wouldn’t be true. I’ve thought of a number of things to write about, but I just haven’t been moved to translate the ideas to actual words.

Perhaps I’ve been afraid to write. There has certainly been plenty to be afraid of, if you pay too much attention to the news. Last weekend, a horrific tornado, bringing winds in excess of 200 miles an hour, completely destroyed the town of Greensburg, Kansas. News outlets flooded the town and surrounding area with reporters (an ironic metaphor for the actual flooding occurring simultaneously along rivers and streams in Missouri) to take pictures and interview local residents, asking stupidly obvious questions like, “How does it feel>” and “What are you going to do now?”

The news programs followed the “team coverage” of the tornado with stories on wildfires in drought-stricken forests, then segued into reports on the ongoing war in Iraq, the standoff between Congress and the White House over troop withdrawals, and the early debates between the 2008 presidential candidates.

It all seems so overwhelming. There are a litany of problems facing our country – and each of us as individuals. Health care, education, crime, poverty, and the “soaring costs” of everything from a gallon of gasoline to a gallon of milk. And, of course, it’s all caused by religious fundamentalists, illegal immigration, global warming, hip-hop music, and Paris Hilton. (insert semi-sarcastic laugh here)

On a personal level, I feel nervous, anxious, and even afraid that my attempt at a career as a “real” electrical engineer has failed. I don’t feel comfortable in my current position, nor have I ever really felt comfortable in the 18 months I’ve been there. I ask myself the same questions, over and over...Do I need to find a different job or try harder to do this one better?

Then, almost as an answer to a prayer, I realize that there have always been challenges and struggles and problems threatening our way of life as a culture – and our very existence as human beings. As each year passes – each decade, each generation – I am reminded that nations and businesses and people have wondered if “it” was all going to end at any time. History tells us that people didn’t always solve every problem, but they endured it – with faith in God and in each other.

May 6th was my parents’ 45th wedding anniversary. I can barely comprehend the worries and anxieties they have had to endure during that time. But they did endure them. And so did their children.

The Breast Cancer 3-Day is all about endurance and survival. My friends living with breast cancer are not only surviving, but thriving and relishing each day of their lives.

Last week, I came across the phrase “focus on the now”, from a book I’ve been reading. The book doesn't have much to do with surviving times of fear and loathing; it's about how artists and writers find their creativity, especially when it hides itself. But in a chapter on overcoming the mental and emotional difficulties of creative drought, the following words seem relevant to all of us:

"What may be hard is always bearable – perhaps not in our projected future, but in that moment, precisely now. When we trust ourselves – and trust God – we find that we will become what and who we are meant to be."