What's Really Important, Part 2

Over the past few weeks, I've been in a mode of reaching out to longtime friends, some of whom I haven't seen or spoken with in many months. I occasionally go through these phases, where I feel the need to reconnect with people who are meaningful to me. Most of the time, a quick e-mail to say "Hello" or "I'm fine" is all that the busyness of our lives will allow. But lately, I've had a run of luck and have had the chance to catch up with several of these friends.

Last Thursday, I met my friend Paul for dinner. We worked together for more than ten years, until I chose to pursue a different career. I hadn't seen him since December and in that time, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer, underwent surgery, and completed (more or less) his recovery. I figured it was about time I saw him.

I should say that Paul has completed his physical recovery. Like a lot of cancer survivors that I've come to know, he looks at life with a different perspective these days. He appreciates each day for what it brings - and for the possibility of what it can bring, if we make the effort to actively participate, not just observe.

Paul has always been the type of person who is more concerned about someone other than himself. He has made going the extra mile at his job standard operating procedure. For years, he lead volunteering efforts at local schools and encouraged his co-workers to participate with him. Few of us could ever turn down his requests for help.

He told me the response to news of his illness was overwhelming and surprising to him. He received more cards and messages and phone calls than he ever could have expected. I am not the least bit surprised. Everyone who has ever known him respects him and admires him, not just for the level of excellence he demonstrates in his work, but more importantly, for the genuine person that he is.

We talked about our work and our lives and the local professional sports teams. But mostly, we talked about the things that are truly important: 1) Knowing that there is a reason for us to be on this earth and 2) using that knowledge to take our abilities and do work for the benefit of others.

Funny - I'm not sure that the need to spend an extra hour at work or to check for messages at night (or while on vacation) are anywhere on that list of what's really important.

I told Paul about a book I read a few years ago, "The Purpose-Driven Life", sort of a how-to guide on learning God's purpose for our existence. I read it during a time when I was trying to answer the very question on the cover: What on Earth am I here for? I was considering a career change. I was concerned about my father's health and how to help him. And I needed to find something positive to focus on, other than the 24/7 cable news coverage of Iraq, the Bush Administration, and the goings-on in Hollywood. Perhaps to the disappointment of all you atheists out there, I found the book encouraging and informative and reassuring. If you think that makes me weak-minded and gullible and just another sheep in the flock of organized religion, so be it. There are far worse things to be.

Paul's eyes brightened, as he smiled and said someone gave that same book to him after his surgery and he also greatly enjoyed reading it. What on Earth are we here for? We are not here for ourselves. We are here to serve.

Paul said he is now looking for more volunteering opportunities; to give of himself in appreciation for his life and for the gifts with which he has been blessed. As a result of my past experiences volunteering with Paul at an inner city school, I became more interested in volunteering for events that needed an extra pair of hands (or in the case of the Breast Cancer 3-Day, an extra pair of feet). A friend directed me to the website for a group that has connections with all sorts of organizations who need volunteers to help at local shelters, charity fundraisers, biking and running events, and countless other places. I passed the name of the website on to Paul, which reminded me that I hadn't checked it myself in a long time.

Those of us who are part of the Breast Cancer 3-Day know that it's more than just a lot of walking. We're not out there because we want people to think we're cool or to get our name in the newspaper or get our picture on television. We walk because we can...and for those who can't. We're there to serve and to remind people - especially ourselves - of what's really important.